| Μετὰ τὸν πάτριον θεσμόν, ὃν ὑμῖν ἡ τῆς Δήμητρος ἱέρεια συνειργνυμένοις ἐφήρμοσεν, οἶμαι καὶ τὸν λόγον ὁμοῦ συνεφαπτόμενον ὑμῶν καὶ συνυμεναιοῦντα χρήσιμον ἄν τι ποιῆσαι καὶ τῷ νόμῳ προσῳδόν. Ἐν μὲν γὰρ τοῖς μουσικοῖς ἕνα τῶν αὐλητικῶν νόμων ἱππόθορον ἐκάλουν, μέλος τι τοῖς ἵπποις ὁρμῆς ἐπεγερτικὸν ὡς ἔοικεν ἐνδιδόν τε περὶ τὰς ὀχείας· φιλοσοφίᾳ δὲ πολλῶν λόγων καὶ καλῶν ἐνόντων, οὐδενὸς ἧττον ἄξιος σπουδῆς ὁ γαμήλιός ἐστιν οὗτος, ᾧ κατᾴδουσα τοὺς ἐπὶ βίου κοινωνίᾳ συνιόντας εἰς ταὐτὸ πράους τε παρέχει καὶ χειροήθεις ἀλλήλοις. ὧν οὖν ἀκηκόατε πολλάκις ἐν φιλοσοφίᾳ παρατρεφόμενοι κεφάλαια συντάξας ἔν τισιν ὁμοιότησι βραχείαις, ὡς εὐμνημόνευτα μᾶλλον εἴη, κοινὸν ἀμφοτέροις πέμπω δῶρον, εὐχόμενος τῇ Ἀφροδίτῃ τὰς Μούσας παρεῖναι καὶ συνεργεῖν, ὡς μήτε λύραν τινὰ μήτε κιθάραν μᾶλλον αὐταῖς ἢ τὴν περὶ γάμον καὶ οἶκον ἐμμέλειαν ἡρμοσμένην παρέχειν διὰ λόγου καὶ ἁρμονίας καὶ φιλοσοφίας προσῆκον. καὶ γὰρ οἱ παλαιοὶ τῇ Ἀφροδίτῃ τὸν Ἑρμῆν συγκαθίδρυσαν, ὡς τῆς περὶ τὸν γάμον ἡδονῆς μάλιστα λόγου δεομένης, τήν τε Πειθὼ καὶ τὰς Χάριτας, ἵνα πείθοντες διαπράττωνται παρ´ ἀλλήλων ἃ βούλονται, μὴ μαχόμενοι μηδὲ φιλονεικοῦντες. |
After the traditional rites, by which the Priestess of Demeter has joined you together in wedlock, I think an appropriate discourse, which will also take you in hand and join in the nuptial song, will be useful to you and agreeable to custom. Indeed in music one of the tunes played on the flute is called Hippothorus, because it seems that the tune provokes stallions to cover mares; and in philosophy there are many good subjects, yet is there none more worthy of attention than that of marriage, on which subject philosophy spreads a charm over those who are to have a life of companionship, and makes them gentle and agreeable to one another. I send therefore as a gift to both of you a summary of what you have often heard, as you are both tutored in philosophy, arranging my matter in a series of short observations that it may be the more easily remembered, and I pray that the Muses will assist and co-operate with Aphrodite, so that no lyre or lute could be more harmonious or in tune than your married life, as the result of philosophy and concord. And thus the ancients set up near Aphrodite statues of Hermes, to show that conversation was one of the great charms of marriage, and also statues of Peitho and the Graces, to teach married people to gain their way with one another by persuasion, and not by wrangling or contention. |
| 1. Ὁ Σόλων ἐκέλευε τὴν νύμφην τῷ νυμφίῳ συγκατακλίνεσθαι μήλου κυδωνίου κατατραγοῦσαν, αἰνιττόμενος ὡς ἔοικεν ὅτι δεῖ τὴν ἀπὸ στόματος καὶ φωνῆς χάριν εὐάρμοστον εἶναι πρῶτον καὶ ἡδεῖαν. |
1. Solon bade the bride eat a quince the first night of marriage, intimating thereby, it seems, that the bridegroom was to expect his first pleasure from the bride's mouth and conversation. |
| 2. Ἐν Βοιωτίᾳ τὴν νύμφην κατακαλύψαντες ἀσφαραγωνιᾷ στεφανοῦσιν· ἐκείνη τε γὰρ ἥδιστον ἐκ τραχυτάτης ἀκάνθης καρπὸν ἀναδίδωσιν, ἥ τε νύμφη τῷ μὴ φυγόντι μηδὲ δυσχεράναντι τὴν πρώτην χαλεπότητα καὶ ἀηδίαν αὐτῆς ἥμερον καὶ γλυκεῖαν παρέξει συμβίωσιν. οἱ δὲ τὰς πρώτας τῶν παρθένων διαφορὰς μὴ ὑπομείναντες οὐδὲν ἀπολείπουσι τῶν διὰ τὸν ὄμφακα τὴν σταφυλὴν ἑτέροις προϊεμένων. πολλαὶ δὲ καὶ τῶν νεογάμων δυσχεράνασαι διὰ τὰ πρῶτα τοὺς νυμφίους ὅμοιον ἔπαθον πάθος τοῖς τὴν μὲν πληγὴν τῆς μελίττης ὑπομείνασι, τὸ δὲ κηρίον προεμένοις. |
2. In Bœotia they dress up the bride with a chaplet of asparagus, for as the asparagus gives most excellent fruit from a thorny stalk, so the bride, by not being too reluctant and coy in the first approaches, will make the married state more agreeable and pleasant. But those husbands who cannot put up with the early peevishness of their brides, are not a whit wiser than those persons who pluck unripe grapes and leave the ripe grapes for others. On the other hand, many brides, being at first disgusted with their husbands, are like those that stand the bee's sting but neglect the honey. |
| 3. Ἐν ἀρχῇ μάλιστα δεῖ τὰς διαφορὰς καὶ τὰς προσκρούσεις φυλάττεσθαι τοὺς γεγαμηκότας, ὁρῶντας ὅτι καὶ τὰ συναρμοσθέντα τῶν σκευῶν κατ´ ἀρχὰς μὲν ὑπὸ τῆς τυχούσης ῥᾳδίως διασπᾶται προφάσεως, χρόνῳ δὲ τῶν ἁρμῶν σύμπηξιν λαβόντων μόλις ὑπὸ πυρὸς καὶ σιδήρου διαλύεται. |
3. Married people should especially at the outset beware of the first quarrel and collision, observing that vessels when first fabricated are easily broken up into their component parts, but in process of time, getting compact and firmly welded together, are proof against either fire or steel. |
| 4. Ὥσπερ τὸ πῦρ ἐξάπτεται μὲν εὐχερῶς ἐν ἀχύροις καὶ θρυαλλίδι καὶ θριξὶ λαγῴαις, σβέννυται δὲ τάχιον ἂν μή τινος ἑτέρου δυναμένου στέγειν ἅμα καὶ τρέφειν ἐπιλάβηται, οὕτω τὸν ἀπὸ σώματος καὶ ὥρας ὀξὺν ἔρωτα τῶν νεογάμων ἀναφλεγόμενον δεῖ μὴ διαρκῆ μηδὲ βέβαιον νομίζειν, ἂν μὴ περὶ τὸ ἦθος ἱδρυθεὶς καὶ τοῦ φρονοῦντος ἁψάμενος ἔμψυχον λάβῃ διάθεσιν. |
4. As fire gets kindled easily in chaff or in a wick or in the fur of hares, but is easily extinguished again, if it find no material to keep it in and feed it, so we must not consider that the love of newly-married people, that blazes out so fiercely in consequence of the attractions of youth and beauty, will be durable and lasting, unless it be fixed in the character, and occupy the mind, and make a living impression. |
| 5. Ἡ διὰ τῶν φαρμάκων θήρα ταχὺ μὲν αἱρεῖ καὶ λαμβάνει ῥᾳδίως τὸν ἰχθύν, ἄβρωτον δὲ ποιεῖ καὶ φαῦλον· οὕτως αἱ φίλτρα τινὰ καὶ γοητείας ἐπιτεχνώμεναι τοῖς ἀνδράσι καὶ χειρούμεναι δι´ ἡδονῆς αὐτοὺς ἐμπλήκτοις καὶ ἀνοήτοις καὶ διεφθαρμένοις συμβιοῦσιν. οὐδὲ γὰρ τὴν Κίρκην ὤνησαν οἱ καταφαρμακευθέντες, οὐδ´ ἐχρήσατο πρὸς οὐδὲν αὐτοῖς ὑσὶ καὶ ὄνοις γενομένοις, τὸν δ´ Ὀδυσσέα νοῦν ἔχοντα καὶ συνόντα φρονίμως ὑπερηγάπησεν. |
5. As catching fish by drugged bait is easy, but makes the fish poor to eat and insipid, so those wives that lay traps for their husbands by philtres and charms, and become their masters by pleasure, have stupid senseless and spoiled husbands to live with. For those that were bewitched by Circe did her no good, nor could she make any use of them when they were turned into swine and asses, but she was greatly in love with the prudent Odysseus who dwelt with her sensibly. |
| 6. Αἱ βουλόμεναι μᾶλλον ἀνοήτων κρατεῖν ἀνδρῶν ἢ φρονίμων ἀκούειν ἐοίκασι τοῖς ἐν ὁδῷ βουλομένοις μᾶλλον ὁδηγεῖν τυφλοὺς ἢ τοῖς γιγνώσκουσιν ἀκολουθεῖν καὶ βλέπουσι. |
6. Those women who would rather lord it over fools than obey sensible men, resemble those people who would rather lead the blind on a road, and not people who have eyesight and know how to follow. |
| 7. Τὴν Πασιφάην ἀπιστοῦσι βοὸς ἐρασθῆναι βασιλεῖ συνοῦσαν, ἐνίας ὁρῶσαι τοὺς μὲν αὐστηροὺς καὶ σώφρονας βαρυνομένας, τοῖς δ´ ἐξ ἀκρασίας καὶ φιληδονίας κεκραμένοις ὥσπερ κυσὶν ἢ τράγοις ἥδιον συνούσας. |
7. Women disbelieve that Pasiphae, a king's wife, was enamoured of a bull, although they see some of their sex despising grave and sober men, and preferring to associate with men who are the slaves of intemperance and pleasure, and like dogs and he-goats. |
| 8. Οἱ τοῖς ἵπποις ἐφάλλεσθαι μὴ δυνάμενοι δι´ ἀσθένειαν ἢ μαλακίαν αὐτοὺς ἐκείνους ὀκλάζειν καὶ ὑποπίπτειν διδάσκουσιν· οὕτως ἔνιοι τῶν λαβόντων εὐγενεῖς ἢ πλουσίας γυναῖκας οὐχ ἑαυτοὺς ποιοῦσι βελτίους ἀλλ´ ἐκείνας περικολούουσιν, ὡς μᾶλλον ἄρξοντες ταπεινῶν γενομένων. δεῖ δ´ ὥσπερ ἵππου τὸ μέγεθος φυλάττοντα καὶ τὸ ἀξίωμα τῆς γυναικὸς χρῆσθαι τῷ χαλινῷ. |
8. Men who through weakness or effeminacy cannot vault upon their horses' backs, teach them to kneel and so receive their riders. Similarly, some men that marry noble or rich wives, instead of making themselves better humble their wives, thinking to rule them easier by lowering them. But one ought to govern with an eye to the merit of a woman, as much as to the size of a horse. |
| 9. Τὴν σελήνην, ὅταν ἀποστῇ τοῦ ἡλίου, περιφανῆ καὶ λαμπρὰν ὁρῶμεν, ἀφανίζεται δὲ καὶ κρύπτεται πλησίον γενομένη· τὴν δὲ σώφρονα γυναῖκα δεῖ τοὐναντίον ὁρᾶσθαι μάλιστα μετὰ τοῦ ἀνδρὸς οὖσαν, οἰκουρεῖν δὲ καὶ κρύπτεσθαι μὴ παρόντος. |
9. We see that the moon when it is far from the sun is bright and glorious, but pales and hides its light when it is near. A modest wife on the contrary ought to be seen chiefly with her husband, and to stay at home and in retirement in his absence. |
| 10. Οὐκ ὀρθῶς Ἡρόδοτος εἶπεν ὅτι ἡ γυνὴ ἅμα τῷ χιτῶνι ἐκδύεται καὶ τὴν αἰδῶ· τοὐναντίον γὰρ ἡ σώφρων ἀντενδύεται τὴν αἰδῶ, καὶ τοῦ μάλιστα φιλεῖν τῷ μάλιστα αἰδεῖσθαι συμβόλῳ χρῶνται πρὸς ἀλλήλους. |
10. It is not a true observation of Herodotus, that a woman puts off her shamefastness with her chemise. On the contrary, the modest woman puts on shamefastness in its stead, and much shamefastness is a sign of much love between one another. |
| 11. Ὥσπερ ἂν φθόγγοι δύο σύμφωνοι ληφθῶσι, τοῦ βαρυτέρου γίγνεται τὸ μέλος, οὕτω πᾶσα πρᾶξις ἐν οἰκίᾳ σωφρονούσῃ πράττεται μὲν ὑπ´ ἀμφοτέρων ὁμονοούντων, ἐπιφαίνει δὲ τὴν τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἡγεμονίαν καὶ προαίρεσιν. |
11. As where two voices are in unison the loudest prevails; so in a well-managed household everything is done by mutual consent, but the husband's supremacy is exhibited, and his wishes are consulted. |
| 12. Ὁ ἥλιος τὸν βορέαν ἐνίκησεν. ὁ γὰρ ἄνθρωπος τοῦ μὲν ἀνέμου βιαζομένου τὸ ἱμάτιον ἀφελέσθαι καὶ λαμπρὸν καταπνέοντος μᾶλλον ἔσφιγγε καὶ συνεῖχε τὴν περιβολήν· τοῦ δ´ ἡλίου μετὰ τὸ πνεῦμα θερμοῦ γενομένου θαλπόμενος εἶτα καυματιζόμενος καὶ τὸν χιτῶνα τῷ ἱματίῳ προσαπεδύσατο. τοῦτο ποιοῦσιν αἱ πλεῖσται γυναῖκες· ἀφαιρουμένοις τοῖς ἀνδράσι βίᾳ τὴν τρυφὴν καὶ τὴν πολυτέλειαν διαμάχονται καὶ χαλεπαίνουσιν· ἂν δὲ πείθωνται μετὰ λόγου, πράως ἀποτίθενται καὶ μετριάζουσιν. |
12. The Sun beat the North Wind. For when it blew a strong and terrible blast, and tried to make the man remove his cloak, he only drew it round him more closely, but when the Sun came out with its warm rays, at first warmed and afterwards scorched, he stripped himself of coat as well as cloak. Most woman act similarly: if their husbands try to curtail by force their luxury and extravagance, they are vexed and fight for their rights, but if they are convinced by reason, they quietly drop their expensive habits, and keep within bounds. |
| 13. Ὁ Κάτων ἐξέβαλε τῆς βουλῆς τὸν φιλήσαντα τὴν ἑαυτοῦ γυναῖκα τῆς θυγατρὸς παρούσης. τοῦτο μὲν οὖν ἴσως σφοδρότερον· εἰ δ´ αἰσχρόν ἐστιν, ὥσπερ ἐστίν, ἑτέρων παρόντων ἀσπάζεσθαι καὶ φιλεῖν καὶ περιβάλλειν ἀλλήλους, πῶς οὐκ αἴσχιον ἑτέρων παρόντων λοιδορεῖσθαι καὶ διαφέρεσθαι πρὸς ἀλλήλους, καὶ τὰς μὲν ἐντεύξεις καὶ φιλοφροσύνας ἀπορρήτους πρὸς τὴν γυναῖκα ποιεῖσθαι, νουθεσίᾳ δὲ καὶ μέμψει καὶ παρρησίᾳ χρῆσθαι φανερᾷ καὶ ἀναπεπταμένῃ; |
13. Cato turned out of the Senate a man who kissed his own wife in the presence of his daughter. This was perhaps too strong a step, but if it is unseemly, as indeed it is, for husband and wife in the presence of others to fondle and kiss and embrace one another, is it not far more unseemly in the presence of others to quarrel and jangle ? Just as conjugal caresses and endearments ought to be private, so ought admonition and scolding and plain speaking. |
| 14. Ὥσπερ ἐσόπτρου κατεσκευασμένου χρυσῷ καὶ λίθοις ὄφελος οὐδέν ἐστιν, εἰ μὴ δείκνυσι τὴν μορφὴν ὁμοίαν, οὕτως οὐδὲ πλουσίας γαμετῆς ὄνησις, εἰ μὴ παρέχει τὸν βίον ὅμοιον τῷ ἀνδρὶ καὶ σύμφωνον τὸ ἦθος. εἰ χαίροντος μὲν εἰκόνα σκυθρωπὴν ἀποδίδωσι τὸ ἔσοπτρον, ἀχθομένου δὲ καὶ σκυθρωπάζοντας ἱλαρὰν καὶ σεσηρυῖαν, ἡμαρτημένον ἐστὶ καὶ φαῦλον. οὐκοῦν καὶ γυνὴ φαῦλος καὶ ἄκαιρος ἡ παίζειν μὲν ὡρμημένου καὶ φιλοφρονεῖσθαι τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἐσκυθρωπακυῖα, σπουδάζοντος δὲ παίζουσα καὶ γελῶσα· τὸ μὲν γὰρ ἀηδίας, τὸ δ´ ὀλιγωρίας. δεῖ δέ, ὥσπερ οἱ γεωμέτραι λέγουσι τὰς γραμμὰς καὶ τὰς ἐπιφανείας οὐ κινεῖσθαι καθ´ ἑαυτὰς ἀλλὰ συγκινεῖσθαι τοῖς σώμασιν, οὕτω τὴν γυναῖκα μηδὲν ἴδιον πάθος ἔχειν, ἀλλὰ κοινωνεῖν τῷ ἀνδρὶ καὶ σπουδῆς καὶ παιδιᾶς καὶ συννοίας καὶ γέλωτος. |
14. Just as there is little use in a mirror adorned with gold or precious stones, unless it conveys a true likeness, so there is no advantage in a rich wife, unless she conforms her life and habits to her husband's position. For if when a man is joyful the mirror makes him look sad, and when he is put out and sad it makes him look gay and smiling from ear to ear, the mirror is plainly faulty. So the wife is faulty and devoid of tact, who frowns when her husband is in the vein for mirth and jollity, and who jokes and laughs when he is serious : the former conduct is disagreeable, the latter contemptuous. And, just as geometricians say lines and surfaces do not move of themselves, but only in connection with bodies, so the wife ought to have no private emotions of her own, but share in her husband's gravity or mirth, anxiety or gaiety. |
| 15. Οἱ τὰς γυναῖκας μὴ ἡδέως βλέποντες ἐσθιούσας μετ´ αὐτῶν διδάσκουσιν ἐμπίπλασθαι μόνας γενομένας. οὕτως οἱ μὴ συνόντες ἱλαρῶς ταῖς γυναιξὶ μηδὲ παιδιᾶς κοινωνοῦντες αὐταῖς καὶ γέλωτος ἰδίας ἡδονὰς χωρὶς αὐτῶν ζητεῖν διδάσκουσιν. |
15. As those husbands who do not like to see their wives eating and drinking in their company only teach them to take their food on the sly, so those husbands who are not gay and jolly with their wives, and never joke or smile with them, only teach them to seek their pleasures out of their company. |
| 16. Τοῖς τῶν Περσῶν βασιλεῦσιν αἱ γνήσιαι γυναῖκες παρακάθηνται δειπνοῦσι καὶ συνεστιῶνται· βουλόμενοι δὲ παίζειν καὶ μεθύσκεσθαι ταύτας μὲν ἀποπέμπουσι, τὰς δὲ μουσουργοὺς καὶ παλλακίδας καλοῦσιν, ὀρθῶς τοῦτό γ´ αὐτὸ ποιοῦντες, ὅτι τοῦ συνακολασταίνειν καὶ παροινεῖν οὐ μεταδιδόασι ταῖς γαμεταῖς. ἂν οὖν ἰδιώτης ἀνήρ, ἀκρατὴς δὲ περὶ τὰς ἡδονὰς καὶ ἀνάγωγος, ἐξαμάρτῃ τι πρὸς ἑταίραν ἢ θεραπαινίδα, δεῖ τὴν γαμετὴν μὴ ἀγανακτεῖν μηδὲ χαλεπαίνειν, λογιζομένην ὅτι παροινίας καὶ ἀκολασίας καὶ ὕβρεως αἰδούμενος αὐτὴν ἑτέρᾳ μεταδίδωσιν. |
16. The kings of Persia have their wedded wives at their side at banquets and entertainments ; but when they have a mind for a drunken debauch they send them away, and call for singing-girls and concubines, rightly so doing, for they will not have their wives participate in the licentiousness and debauchery. Similarly, if a private individual, lustful and dissolute, goes astray with a courtesan or maid-servant, his wedded wife should not be vexed or impatient, but consider that it is out of respect for her that he bestows upon another women all his wanton and abusive disrespect. |
| 17. Οἱ φιλόμουσοι τῶν βασιλέων πολλοὺς μουσικοὺς ποιοῦσιν, οἱ φιλόλογοι λογίους, οἱ φιλαθληταὶ γυμναστικούς. οὕτως ἀνὴρ φιλοσώματος καλλωπίστριαν γυναῖκα ποιεῖ, φιλήδονος ἑταιρικὴν καὶ ἀκόλαστον, φιλάγαθος καὶ φιλόκαλος σώφρονα καὶ κοσμίαν. |
17. As kings make if fond of music many musicians, if lovers of learning many men of letters, and many athletes if fond of gymnastics, so the man who has an eye for female charms teaches his wife to dress well, the man of pleasure teaches his meretricious tricks and wantonness, while the true gentleman makes his virtuous and decorous. |
| 18. Λάκαινα παιδίσκη, πυνθανομένου τινὸς εἰ ἤδη ἀνδρὶ προσελήλυθεν, "οὐκ ἔγωγ´," εἶπεν, "ἀλλ´ ἐμοὶ ἐκεῖνος." οὗτος ὁ τρόπος, οἶμαι, τῆς οἰκοδεσποίνης, μήτε φεύγειν μήτε δυσχεραίνειν τὰ τοιαῦτα τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἀρχομένου μήτ´ αὐτὴν κατάρχεσθαι· τὸ μὲν γὰρ ἑταιρικὸν καὶ ἰταμόν, τὸ δ´ ὑπερήφανον καὶ ἀφιλόστοργον. |
18. A Lacedæmonian girl, when someone asked her if she had yet embraced a man, replied, "Not I, but he has embraced me." This, I think, is the right conduct for a lady: neither declining the embraces of a husband when he takes the initiative, nor beginning them herself; for the one is forward and savours of the courtesan, the other is haughty and lacking affection. |
| 19. Ἰδίους οὐ δεῖ φίλους κτᾶσθαι τὴν γυναῖκα, κοινοῖς δὲ χρῆσθαι τοῖς τοῦ ἀνδρός· οἱ δὲ θεοὶ φίλοι πρῶτοι καὶ μέγιστοι. διὸ καὶ θεοὺς οὓς ὁ ἀνὴρ νομίζει σέβεσθαι τῇ γαμετῇ καὶ γιγνώσκειν μόνους προσήκει, περιέργοις δὲ θρησκείαις καὶ ξέναις δεισιδαιμονίαις ἀποκεκλεῖσθαι τὴν αὔλειον. οὐδενὶ γὰρ θεῶν ἱερὰ κλεπτόμενα καὶ λανθάνοντα δρᾶται κεχαρισμένως ὑπὸ γυναικός. |
19. The wife ought not to have her own private friends, but cultivate only those of the husband. Now the gods are our first and greatest friends, so the wife ought only to worship and recognize her husband's gods, and the door ought to be shut on all superfluous worship and strange superstitions, for none of the gods are pleased with stealthy and secret sacrifices on the part of a wife. |
| 20. Ὁ Πλάτων φησὶν εὐδαίμονα καὶ μακαρίαν εἶναι πόλιν, ἐν ᾗ "τὸ ἐμὸν καὶ τὸ οὐκ ἐμὸν" ἥκιστα φθεγγομένων ἀκούουσι διὰ τὸ κοινοῖς ὡς ἔνι μάλιστα χρῆσθαι τοῖς ἀξίοις σπουδῆς τοὺς πολίτας. πολὺ δὲ μᾶλλον ἐκ γάμου δεῖ τὴν τοιαύτην φωνὴν ἀνῃρῆσθαι. πλὴν ὥσπερ οἱ ἰατροὶ λέγουσι τὰς τῶν εὐωνύμων πληγὰς τὴν αἴσθησιν ἐν τοῖς δεξιοῖς ἀναφέρειν, οὕτω τὴν γυναῖκα τοῖς τοῦ ἀνδρὸς συμπαθεῖν καλὸν καὶ τὸν ἄνδρα τοῖς τῆς γυναικός, ἵν´ ὥσπερ οἱ δεσμοὶ κατὰ τὴν ἐπάλλαξιν ἰσχὺν δι´ ἀλλήλων λαμβάνουσιν, οὕτως ἑκατέρου τὴν εὔνοιαν ἀντίστροφον ἀποδιδόντος ἡ κοινωνία σῴζηται δι´ ἀμφοῖν. καὶ γὰρ ἡ φύσις μίγνυσι διὰ τῶν σωμάτων ἡμᾶς, ἵν´ ἐξ ἑκατέρων μέρος λαβοῦσα καὶ συγχέασα κοινὸν ἀμφοτέροις ἀποδῷ τὸ γεννώμενον, ὥστε μηδέτερον διορίσαι μηδὲ διακρῖναι τὸ ἴδιον ἢ τὸ ἀλλότριον. αὕτη τοίνυν καὶ χρημάτων κοινωνία προσήκει μάλιστα τοῖς γαμοῦσιν, εἰς μίαν οὐσίαν πάντα καταχεαμένοις καὶ ἀναμείξασι μὴ τὸ μέρος ἴδιον καὶ τὸ μέρος ἀλλότριον ἀλλὰ πᾶν ἴδιον ἡγεῖσθαι καὶ μηδὲν ἀλλότριον. ὥσπερ τὸ κρᾶμα καίτοι ὕδατος μετέχον πλείονος οἶνον καλοῦμεν, οὕτω τὴν οὐσίαν δεῖ καὶ τὸν οἶκον τοῦ ἀνδρὸς λέγεσθαι, κἂν ἡ γυνὴ πλείονα συμβάλληται. |
20. Plato says that is a happy and fortunate state, where the words Meum and Tuum are least heard, because the citizens regard the common interest in all matters of importance. Far more essential is it in marriage that the words should have no place. For, as the doctors say, that blows on the left shoulders are also felt on the right, so is it good for husband and wife to mutually sympathize with one another, that, just as the strength of ropes comes from the twining and interlacing of fibres together, so the marriage knot may be confirmed and strengthened by the interchange of mutual affection and kindness. Nature itself teaches this by the birth of children, which are so much a joint result, that neither husband nor wife can discriminate or discern which part of the child is theirs. So, too, it is well for married persons to have one purse, and to throw all their property into one common stock, that here also there may be no Meum and Tuum. And just as we call the mixture of water and wine by the name of wine, even though the water should preponderate, so we say that the house and property belongs to the man, even though the wife contribute most of the money. |
| 21. Φιλόπλουτος ἡ Ἑλένη, φιλήδονος ὁ Πάρις· φρόνιμος ὁ Ὀδυσσεύς, σώφρων ἡ Πηνελόπη. διὰ τοῦτο μακάριος γάμος ὁ τούτων καὶ ζηλωτός, ὁ δ´ ἐκείνων Ἰλιάδα κακῶν Ἕλλησι καὶ βαρβάροις ἐποίησεν. |
21. Helen was fond of wealth, Paris of pleasure, whereas Odysseus was prudent, Penelope chaste. So the marriage of the last two was happy and enviable, while that of the former two brought an Iliad of woe on Greeks and barbarians alike. |
| 22. Ὁ Ῥωμαῖος ὑπὸ τῶν φίλων νουθετούμενος ὅτι σώφρονα γυναῖκα καὶ πλουσίαν καὶ ὡραίαν ἀπεπέμψατο, τὸν κάλτιον αὐτοῖς προτείνας "καὶ γὰρ οὗτος," ἔφη, "καλὸς ἰδεῖν καὶ καινός, ἀλλ´ οὐδεὶς οἶδεν ὅπου με θλίβει." δεῖ τοίνυν μὴ προικὶ μηδὲ γένει μηδὲ κάλλει τὴν γυναῖκα πιστεύειν, ἀλλ´ ἐν οἷς ἅπτεται μάλιστα τοῦ ἀνδρός, ὁμιλίᾳ τε καὶ ἤθει καὶ συμπεριφορᾷ, ταῦτα μὴ σκληρὰ μηδ´ ἀνιῶντα καθ´ ἡμέραν ἀλλ´ εὐάρμοστα καὶ ἄλυπα καὶ προσφιλῆ παρέχειν. ὥσπερ γὰρ οἱ ἰατροὶ τοὺς ἐξ αἰτιῶν ἀδήλων καὶ κατὰ μικρὸν συλλεγομένων γεννωμένους πυρετοὺς μᾶλλον δεδοίκασιν ἢ τοὺς ἐμφανεῖς καὶ μεγάλας προφάσεις ἔχοντας, οὕτω τὰ λανθάνοντα τοὺς πολλοὺς μικρὰ καὶ συνεχῆ καὶ καθημερινὰ προσκρούματα γυναικὸς καὶ ἀνδρὸς μᾶλλον διίστησι καὶ λυμαίνεται τὴν συμβίωσιν. |
22. The Roman who was taken to task by his friends for repudiating a chaste, wealthy, and beautiful wife, showed them his shoe and said, "Although this is new and handsome, none of you know where it pinches me." A wife ought not therefore to put her trust in her dowry, or family, or beauty, but in matters that more vitally concern her husband, namely, in her disposition and companionableness and complaisance with him, not to make everyday life vexatious or annoying, but harmonious and cheerful and agreeable. For as doctors are more afraid of fevers that are generated from uncertain causes, and from a complication of ailments, than of those that have a clear and adequate cause, so the small and continual and daily matters of offence between husband and wife, that the world knows nothing about, set the household most at variance, and do it the greatest injury. |
| 23. Ὁ βασιλεὺς Φίλιππος ἤρα Θεσσαλῆς γυναικὸς αἰτίαν ἐχούσης καταφαρμακεύειν αὐτόν. ἐσπούδασεν οὖν ἡ Ὀλυμπιὰς λαβεῖν τὴν ἄνθρωπον ὑποχείριον. ὡς δ´ εἰς ὄψιν ἐλθοῦσα τό τ´ εἶδος εὐπρεπὴς ἐφάνη καὶ διελέχθη πρὸς αὐτὴν οὐκ ἀγεννῶς οὐδ´ ἀσυνέτως, "χαιρέτωσαν," εἶπεν ἡ Ὀλυμπιάς, "αἱ διαβολαί. σὺ γὰρ ἐν σεαυτῇ τὰ φάρμακα ἔχεις." ἄμαχον οὖν τι γίγνεται πρᾶγμα γαμετὴ γυνὴ καὶ νόμιμος, ἂν ἐν αὑτῇ πάντα θεμένη, καὶ προῖκα καὶ γένος καὶ φάρμακα καὶ τὸν κεστὸν αὐτόν, ἤθει καὶ ἀρετῇ κατεργάσηται τὴν εὔνοιαν. |
23. King Philip was desperately enamoured of a Thessalian woman, who was accused of bewitching him; his wife Olympias therefore wished to get this woman into her power. But when she came before her, and was evidently very pretty, and talked to her in a noble and sensible manner, Olympias said, "Farewell to calumny! Your charms lie in yourself." So invincible are the charms of a lawful wife to win her husband's affection by her virtuous character, bringing to him in herself dowry, and family, and philtres, and even Aphrodite's cestus. |
| 24. Πάλιν ἡ Ὀλυμπιάς, αὐλικοῦ τινος νεανίσκου γήμαντος εὐπρεπῆ γυναῖκα κακῶς ἀκούουσαν, "οὗτος," εἶπεν, "οὐκ ἔχει λογισμόν· οὐ γὰρ ἂν τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς ἔγημε." δεῖ δὲ μὴ τοῖς ὄμμασι γαμεῖν μηδὲ τοῖς δακτύλοις, ὥσπερ ἔνιοι ψηφίσαντες πόσα φέρουσαν λαμβάνουσιν, οὐ κρίναντες πῶς συμβιωσομένην. |
24. Olympias, on another occasion, when a young courtier had married a wife who was very beautiful, but whose reputation was not very good, remarked, "This fellow has no sense, or he would not have married with his eyes." We ought neither to marry with our eyes, nor with our fingers, as some do, who reckon up on their fingers what dowry the wife will bring, not what sort of partner she will make. |
| 25. Ὁ Σωκράτης ἐκέλευε τῶν ἐσοπτριζομένων νεανίσκων τοὺς μὲν αἰσχροὺς ἐπανορθοῦσθαι τῇ ἀρετῇ, τοὺς δὲ καλοὺς μὴ καταισχύνειν τῇ κακίᾳ τὸ εἶδος. καλὸν οὖν καὶ τὴν οἰκοδέσποιναν, ὅταν ἐν ταῖς χερσὶν ἔχῃ τὸ ἔσοπτρον, αὐτὴν ἐν ἑαυτῇ διαλαλεῖν, τὴν μὲν αἰσχράν "τί οὖν, ἂν μὴ σώφρων γένωμαι;" τὴν δὲ καλήν "τί οὖν, ἂν καὶ σώφρων γένωμαι;" τῇ γὰρ αἰσχρᾷ σεμνὸν εἰ φιλεῖται διὰ τὸ ἦθος μᾶλλον ἢ τὸ κάλλος. |
25. It was advice of Socrates, that when young men looked at themselves in the mirror, those who were not handsome should become so through virtue, and those who were so should not by vice deform their beauty. Good also is it for the matron, when she has the mirror in her hands, if not beautiful to say to herself, "What should I be, if I were not virtuous?" and if beautiful to say to herself, "How good it were to add virtue to beauty!" for it is a feather in the cap of a woman not beautiful to be loved for herself and not for good looks. |
| 26. Ταῖς Λυσάνδρου θυγατράσιν ὁ τύραννος ὁ Σικελικὸς ἱμάτια καὶ πλόκια τῶν πολυτελῶν ἔπεμψεν· ὁ δὲ Λύσανδρος οὐκ ἔλαβεν εἰπών, "ταῦτα τὰ κόσμια καταισχυνεῖ μου μᾶλλον ἢ κοσμήσει τὰς θυγατέρας." πρότερος δὲ Λυσάνδρου Σοφοκλῆς τοῦτ´ εἶπεν, "οὐ κόσμος, οὔκ, ὦ τλῆμον, ἀλλ´ ἀκοσμία φαίνοιτ´ ἂν εἶναι σῶν τε μαργότης φρενῶν." "κόσμος γάρ ἐστιν," ὡς ἔλεγε Κράτης, "τὸ κοσμοῦν." κοσμεῖ δὲ τὸ κοσμιωτέραν τὴν γυναῖκα ποιοῦν. ποιεῖ δὲ τοιαύτην οὔτε χρυσὸς οὔτε σμάραγδος οὔτε κόκκος, ἀλλ´ ὅσα σεμνότητος εὐταξίας αἰδοῦς ἔμφασιν περιτίθησιν. |
26. Dionysius, the tyrant of Sicily, sent some costly dresses and necklaces to the daughters of Lysander, but he would not receive them, and said, "These presents will bring my daughters more shame than adornment." And Sophocles said still earlier than Lysander, "Your madness of mind will not appear handsome, wretch, but most ugly." For, as Crates says, "that is adornment which adorns," and that adorns a woman that makes her more comely; and it is not gold or diamonds or scarlet robes that make her so, but the evidence of dignity, good behaviour, and shamefastness that is wrapped around her. |
| 27. Οἱ τῇ γαμηλίᾳ θύοντες Ἥρᾳ τὴν χολὴν οὐ συγκαθαγίζουσι τοῖς ἄλλοις ἱεροῖς, ἀλλ´ ἐξελόντες ἔρριψαν παρὰ τὸν βωμόν, αἰνιττομένου τοῦ νομοθέτου τὸ μηδέποτε δεῖν χολὴν μηδ´ ὀργὴν γάμῳ παρεῖναι. δεῖ γὰρ εἶναι τῆς οἰκοδεσποίνης ὥσπερ οἴνου τὸ αὐστηρὸν ὠφέλιμον καὶ ἡδύ, μὴ πικρὸν ὥσπερ ἀλόης μηδὲ φαρμακῶδες. |
27. Those who sacrifice to Hera as goddess of marriage, do not burn the gall with the other parts of the victim, but when they have drawn it throw it away beside the altar: the lawgiver thus hinting that gall and rage have no place in marriage. For the austerity of a matron should be, like that of wine, wholesome and pleasant, not bitter as aloes, or like a drug. |
| 28. Ὁ Πλάτων τῷ Ξενοκράτει βαρυτέρῳ τὸ ἦθος ὄντι τἄλλα δὲ καλῷ κἀγαθῷ παρεκελεύετο θύειν ταῖς Χάρισιν. οἶμαι δὴ καὶ τῇ σώφρονι μάλιστα δεῖν πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα χαρίτων, ἵν´, ὡς ἔλεγε Μητρόδωρος, "ἡδέως συνοικῇ καὶ μὴ ὀργιζομένη ὅτι σωφρονεῖ." δεῖ γὰρ μήτε τὴν εὐτελῆ καθαριότητος ἀμελεῖν μήτε τὴν φίλανδρον φιλοφροσύνης· ποιεῖ γὰρ ἡ χαλεπότης ἀηδῆ τὴν εὐταξίαν τῆς γυναικός, ὥσπερ ἡ ῥυπαρία τὴν ἀφέλειαν. |
28. Plato advised Xenocrates, a man rather austere but in all other respects a fine fellow, to sacrifice to the Graces. I think also that a chaste wife needs the graces with her husband that, as Metrodorus said, "she may live agreeably with him, and not be bad-tempered because she is chaste." For neither should the frugal wife neglect neatness, nor the virtuous one neglect to make herself attractive, for peevishness makes a wife's good conduct disagreeable, as untidiness makes one disgusted with simplicity. |
| 29. Ἡ φοβουμένη γελάσαι πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ παῖξαί τι, μὴ φανῇ θρασεῖα καὶ ἀκόλαστος, οὐδὲν διαφέρει τῆς ἵνα μὴ δοκῇ μυρίζεσθαι τὴν κεφαλὴν μηδ´ ἀλειφομένης, καὶ ἵνα μὴ φυκοῦσθαι τὸ πρόσωπον μηδὲ νιπτομένης. ὁρῶμεν δὲ καὶ ποιητὰς καὶ ῥήτορας, ὅσοι φεύγουσι τὸ περὶ τὴν λέξιν ὀχλικὸν καὶ ἀνελεύθερον καὶ κακόζηλον, τοῖς πράγμασι καὶ ταῖς οἰκονομίαις καὶ τοῖς ἤθεσιν ἄγειν καὶ κινεῖν τὸν ἀκροατὴν φιλοτεχνοῦντας. διὸ δεῖ καὶ τὴν οἰκοδέσποιναν ὅτι πᾶν τὸ περιττὸν καὶ ἑταιρικὸν καὶ πανηγυρικόν, εὖ ποιοῦσα, φεύγει καὶ παραιτεῖται, μᾶλλον φιλοτεχνεῖν ἐν ταῖς ἠθικαῖς καὶ βιωτικαῖς χάρισι πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα, τῷ καλῷ μεθ´ ἡδονῆς συνεθίζουσαν αὐτόν. ἂν δ´ ἄρα φύσει τις αὐστηρὰ καὶ ἄκρατος γένηται καὶ ἀνήδυντος, εὐγνωμονεῖν δεῖ τὸν ἄνδρα, καὶ καθάπερ ὁ Φωκίων, τοῦ Ἀντιπάτρου πρᾶξιν αὐτῷ προστάττοντος οὐ καλὴν οὐδὲ πρέπουσαν, εἶπεν "οὐ δύνασαί μοι καὶ φίλῳ χρῆσθαι καὶ κόλακι," οὕτω λογίζεσθαι περὶ τῆς σώφρονος καὶ αὐστηρᾶς γυναικός "οὐ δύναμαι τῇ αὐτῇ καὶ ὡς γαμετῇ καὶ ὡς ἑταίρᾳ συνεῖναι." |
29. The wife who is afraid to laugh and jest with her husband, lest she should appear bold and wanton, resembles one that will not anoint herself with oil lest she should be thought to use cosmetics, and will not wash her face lest she should be thought to paint. We see also in the case of those poets and orators, that avoid a popular illiberal and affected style, that they artificially endeavour to move and sway their audience by the facts, and by a skilful arrangement of them, and by their gestures. Consequently a matron will do well to avoid and repudiate over-preciseness meretriciousness and pomposity, and to use tact in her dealings with her husband in everyday life, accustoming him to a combination of pleasure and decorum. But if a wife be by nature austere and apathetic, and no lover of pleasure, the husband must make the best of it, for, as Phocion said, when Antipater enjoined on him an action neither honourable nor becoming, "You cannot have me as a friend and flatterer both," so he must say to himself about his strict and austere wife, "I cannot have in the same woman wife and mistress." |
| 30. Ταῖς Αἰγυπτίαις ὑποδήμασι χρῆσθαι πάτριον οὐκ ἦν, ὅπως ἐν οἴκῳ διημερεύωσι. τῶν δὲ πλείστων γυναικῶν ἂν ὑποδήματα διάχρυσα περιέλῃς καὶ ψέλλια καὶ περισκελίδας καὶ πορφύραν καὶ μαργαρίτας, ἔνδον μένουσιν. |
30. It was a custom among the Egyptian ladies not to wear shoes, that they might stay at home all day and not go abroad. But most of our women will only stay at home if you strip them of their golden shoes, and bracelets, and shoe-buckles, and purple robes, and pearls. |
| 31. Ἡ Θεανὼ παρέφηνε τὴν χεῖρα περιβαλλομένη τὸ ἱμάτιον. εἰπόντος δέ τινος "καλὸς ὁ πῆχυς," "ἀλλ´ οὐ δημόσιος," ἔφη. δεῖ δὲ μὴ μόνον τὸν πῆχυν ἀλλὰ μηδὲ τὸν λόγον δημόσιον εἶναι τῆς σώφρονος, καὶ τὴν φωνὴν ὡς ἀπογύμνωσιν αἰδεῖσθαι καὶ φυλάττεσθαι πρὸς τοὺς ἐκτός· ἐνορᾶται γὰρ αὐτῇ καὶ πάθος καὶ ἦθος καὶ διάθεσις λαλούσης. |
31. Theano, as she was putting on her cloak, exposed her arm, and when somebody said, "What a pretty arm!" she replied, "But not for the public." Yet not only the arm, but also the speech of a modest woman should be hidden from the public, because it is a baring of herself. She ought to be shamefast and guarded in the presence of outsiders; for her emotions, character, and disposition are all exposed by her talk. |
| 32. Τὴν Ἠλείων ὁ Φειδίας Ἀφροδίτην ἐποίησε χελώνην πατοῦσαν, οἰκουρίας σύμβολον ταῖς γυναιξὶ καὶ σιωπῆς. δεῖ γὰρ ἢ πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα λαλεῖν ἢ διὰ τοῦ ἀνδρός, μὴ δυσχεραίνουσαν εἰ δι´ ἀλλοτρίας γλώττης ὥσπερ αὐλητὴς φθέγγεται σεμνότερον. |
32. Phidias made a statue of Aphrodite at Elis, with one foot on a tortoise, as a symbol that women should stay at home and be silent. For the wife ought only to speak either to her husband, or by her husband, not being vexed if, like a flute-player, she speaks more decorously by another month-piece. |
| 33. Οἱ πλούσιοι καὶ οἱ βασιλεῖς τιμῶντες τοὺς φιλοσόφους αὑτούς τε κοσμοῦσι κἀκείνους, οἱ δὲ φιλόσοφοι τοὺς πλουσίους θεραπεύοντες οὐκ ἐκείνους ποιοῦσιν ἐνδόξους ἀλλ´ αὑτοὺς ἀδοξοτέρους. τοῦτο συμβαίνει καὶ περὶ τὰς γυναῖκας. ὑποτάττουσαι μὲν γὰρ ἑαυτὰς τοῖς ἀνδράσιν ἐπαινοῦνται, κρατεῖν δὲ βουλόμεναι μᾶλλον τῶν κρατουμένων ἀσχημονοῦσι. κρατεῖν δὲ δεῖ τὸν ἄνδρα τῆς γυναικὸς οὐχ ὡς δεσπότην κτήματος ἀλλ´ ὡς ψυχὴν σώματος, συμπαθοῦντα καὶ συμπεφυκότα τῇ εὐνοίᾳ. ὥσπερ οὖν σώματος ἔστι κήδεσθαι μὴ δουλεύοντα ταῖς ἡδοναῖς αὐτοῦ καὶ ταῖς ἐπιθυμίαις, οὕτω γυναικὸς ἄρχειν εὐφραίνοντα καὶ χαριζόμενον. |
33. When rich men and kings honour philosophers, they really pay homage to themselves as well; but when philosophers pay court to the rich, they lower themselves without advancing their patrons. The same is the case with women. If they submit themselves to their husbands they receive praise, but if they desire to rule, they get less credit even than the husbands who submit to their rule. But the husband ought to rule his wife, not as a master does a chattel, but as the soul governs the body, by sympathy and goodwill. As he ought to govern the body by not being a slave to its pleasures and desires, so he ought to rule his wife by cheerfulness and complaisance. |
| 34. Τῶν σωμάτων οἱ φιλόσοφοι τὰ μὲν ἐκ διεστώτων λέγουσιν εἶναι καθάπερ στόλον καὶ στρατόπεδον, τὰ δ´ ἐκ συναπτομένων ὡς οἰκίαν καὶ ναῦν, τὰ δ´ ἡνωμένα καὶ συμφυῆ καθάπερ ἐστὶ τῶν ζῴων ἕκαστον. σχεδὸν οὖν καὶ γάμος ὁ μὲν τῶν ἐρώντων ἡνωμένος καὶ συμφυής ἐστιν, ὁ δὲ τῶν διὰ προῖκας ἢ τέκνα γαμούντων ἐκ συναπτομένων, ὁ δὲ τῶν συγκαθευδόντων ἐκ διεστώτων, οὓς συνοικεῖν ἄν τις ἀλλήλοις οὐ συμβιοῦν νομίσειε. δεῖ δέ, ὥσπερ οἱ φυσικοὶ τῶν ὑγρῶν λέγουσι δι´ ὅλων γενέσθαι τὴν κρᾶσιν, οὕτω τῶν γαμούντων καὶ σώματα καὶ χρήματα καὶ φίλους καὶ οἰκείους ἀναμειχθῆναι δι´ ἀλλήλων. καὶ γὰρ ὁ Ῥωμαῖος νομοθέτης ἐκώλυσε δῶρα διδόναι καὶ λαμβάνειν παρ´ ἀλλήλων τοὺς γεγαμηκότας, οὐχ ἵνα μηδενὸς μεταλαμβάνωσιν, ἀλλ´ ἵνα πάντα κοινὰ νομίζωσιν. |
34. The philosophers tell us that some bodies are composed of distinct parts, as a fleet or army; others of connected parts, as a house or ship; others united and growing together, as every animal is. The marriage of lovers is like this last class, that of those who marry for dowry or children is like the second class, and that of those who only sleep together is like the first class, who may be said to live in the same house, but in no other sense to live together. But, just as doctors tell us that liquids are the only things that thoroughly mix, so in married people there must be a complete union of bodies, wealth, friends, and relations. And thus the Roman legislator forbade married people to exchange presents with one another, not that they should not go shares with one another, but that they should consider everything as common property |
| 35. Ἐν Λέπτει τῆς Λιβύης πόλει πάτριόν ἐστι τῇ μετὰ τὸν γάμον ἡμέρᾳ τὴν νύμφην πρὸς τὴν τοῦ νυμφίου μητέρα πέμψασαν αἰτεῖσθαι χύτραν· ἡ δ´ οὐ δίδωσιν οὐδέ φησιν ἔχειν, ὅπως ἀπ´ ἀρχῆς ἐπισταμένη τὸ τῆς ἑκυρᾶς μητρυιῶδες, ἂν ὕστερόν τι συμβαίνῃ τραχύτερον, μὴ ἀγανακτῇ μηδὲ δυσκολαίνῃ. τοῦτο δεῖ γιγνώσκουσαν τὴν γυναῖκα θεραπεύειν τὴν πρόφασιν· ἔστι δὲ ζηλοτυπία τῆς μητρὸς ὑπὲρ εὐνοίας πρὸς αὐτήν. θεραπεία δὲ μία τοῦ πάθους ἰδίᾳ μὲν εὔνοιαν τῷ ἀνδρὶ ποιεῖν πρὸς ἑαυτήν, τὴν δὲ τῆς μητρὸς μὴ περισπᾶν μηδ´ ἐλαττοῦν. |
35. At Leptis, a town in Libya, it is the custom for the bride the day after marriage to send to her mother-in-law's house for a pipkin, who does not lend her one, but says she has not got one, that from the first the daughter-in-law may know her mother-in-law's stepmotherly mind, that if afterwards she should be harsher still, she should be prepared for it and not take it ill. Knowing this the wife ought to guard against any cause of offence, for the bridegroom's mother is jealous of his affection to his wife. But there is one cure for this condition of mind, to conciliate privately the husband's affection, and not to divert or diminish his love for his mother. |
| 36. Τοὺς υἱοὺς δοκοῦσι μᾶλλον ἀγαπᾶν αἱ μητέρες ὡς δυναμένους αὐταῖς βοηθεῖν, οἱ δὲ πατέρες τὰς θυγατέρας ὡς δεομένας αὐτῶν βοηθούντων· ἴσως δὲ καὶ τιμῇ τῇ πρὸς ἀλλήλους ὁ ἕτερος τὸ μᾶλλον οἰκεῖον τῷ ἑτέρῳ βούλεται μᾶλλον ἀσπαζόμενος καὶ ἀγαπῶν φανερὸς εἶναι. καὶ τοῦτο μὲν ἴσως ἀδιάφορόν ἐστιν, ἐκεῖνο δ´ ἀστεῖον, ἂν ἡ γυνὴ μᾶλλον ἀποκλίνασα τῇ τιμῇ πρὸς τοὺς γονεῖς τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἢ τοὺς ἑαυτῆς βλέπηται, κἄν τι λυπῆται, πρὸς ἐκείνους ἀναφέρουσα, τοὺς δ´ ἑαυτῆς λανθάνουσα. ποιεῖ γὰρ τὸ πιστεύειν δοκεῖν πιστεύεσθαι, καὶ τὸ φιλεῖν φιλεῖσθαι. |
36. Mothers seem to love their sons best as able to help them, and fathers their daughters as needing their help; perhaps also it is in compliment to one another, that each prefers the other sex in their children, and openly favours it. This, however, is a matter perhaps of little importance. But it looks very nice in the wife to show greater respect to her husband's parents than to her own, and if anything unpleasant has happened to confide it to them rather than to her own people. For trust begets trust, and love love. |
| 37. Τοῖς περὶ τὸν Κῦρον Ἕλλησι παρήγγειλαν οἱ στρατηγοὶ τοὺς πολεμίους, ἂν μὲν βοῶντες ἐπίωσι, δέχεσθαι μετὰ σιωπῆς, ἂν δ´ ἐκεῖνοι σιωπῶσιν, αὐτοὺς μετὰ βοῆς ἀντεξελαύνειν. αἱ δὲ νοῦν ἔχουσαι γυναῖκες ἐν ταῖς ὀργαῖς τῶν ἀνδρῶν κεκραγότων μὲν ἡσυχάζουσι, σιωπῶντας δὲ προσλαλοῦσαι καὶ παραμυθούμεναι καταπραΰνουσιν. |
37. The generals of the Greeks in Cyrus's army ordered their men to receive the enemy silently if they came up shouting, but if they came up silently to rush out to meet them with a shout. So sensible wives, in their husband's tantrums, are quiet when they storm, but if they are silent and sullen talk them round and appease them. |
| 38. Ὀρθῶς ὁ Εὐριπίδης αἰτιᾶται τοὺς τῇ λύρᾳ χρωμένους παρ´ οἶνον· ἔδει γὰρ ἐπὶ τὰς ὀργὰς καὶ τὰ πένθη μᾶλλον τὴν μουσικὴν παρακαλεῖν ἢ προσελκύειν τοὺς ἐν ταῖς ἡδοναῖς ὄντας. νομίζετε οὖν ὑμεῖς ἁμαρτάνειν τοὺς ἡδονῆς ἕνεκα συγκαθεύδοντας ἀλλήλοις, ὅταν δ´ ἐν ὀργῇ τινι γένωνται καὶ διαφορᾷ, χωρὶς ἀναπαυομένους καὶ μὴ τότε μάλιστα τὴν Ἀφροδίτην παρακαλοῦντας, ἰατρὸν οὖσαν τῶν τοιούτων ἀρίστην. ὥς που καὶ ὁ ποιητὴς διδάσκει, τὴν Ἥραν ποιῶν λέγουσαν, "καί σφ´ ἄκριτα νείκεα λύσω εἰς εὐνὴν ἀνέσασα ὁμωθῆναι φιλότητι." |
38. Rightly does Euripides censure those who introduce the lyre at wine-parties, for music ought to be called in to assuage anger and grief, rather than to enervate the voluptuous still more than before. Think, therefore, those in error who sleep together for pleasure, but when they have any little difference with one another sleep apart, and do not then more than at any other time invoke Aphrodite, who is the best physician in such cases, as the poet, I ween, teaches us, where he introduces Hera, saying: "Their long-continued strife I now will end, For to the bed of love I will them send." |
| 39. Ἀεὶ μὲν δεῖ καὶ πανταχοῦ φεύγειν τὸ προσκρούειν τῷ ἀνδρὶ τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ τῇ γυναικὶ τὸν ἄνδρα, μάλιστα δὲ φυλάττεσθαι τοῦτο ποιεῖν ἐν τῷ συναναπαύεσθαι καὶ συγκαθεύδειν. ἡ μὲν γὰρ ὠδίνουσα καὶ δυσφοροῦσα πρὸς τοὺς κατακλίνοντας αὐτὴν ἔλεγε, "πῶς δ´ ἂν ἡ κλίνη ταῦτα θεραπεύσειεν οἷς ἐπὶ τῆς κλίνης περιέπεσον;" ἃς δ´ ἡ κλίνη γεννᾷ διαφορὰς καὶ λοιδορίας καὶ ὀργάς, οὐ ῥᾴδιόν ἐστιν ἐν ἄλλῳ τόπῳ καὶ χρόνῳ διαλυθῆναι. |
39. Everywhere and at all times should husband and wife avoid giving one another cause of offence, but most especially when they are in bed together. The woman who was in labour and had a bad time said to those that urged her to go to bed, "How shall the bed cure me, which was the very cause of this trouble?" And those differences and quarrels which the bed generates will not easily be put an end to at any other time or place. |
| 40. Ἡ Ἑρμιόνη δοκεῖ τι λέγειν ἀληθὲς λέγουσα, "κακῶν γυναικῶν εἴσοδοί μ´ ἀπώλεσαν." τοῦτο δ´ οὐχ ἁπλῶς γιγνόμενόν ἐστιν, ἀλλ´ ὅταν αἱ πρὸς τοὺς ἄνδρας διαφοραὶ καὶ ζηλοτυπίαι ταῖς τοιαύταις γυναιξὶ μὴ τὰς θύρας μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ τὰς ἀκοὰς ἀνοίγωσι. τότ´ οὖν δεῖ μάλιστα τὴν νοῦν ἔχουσαν ἀποκλείειν τὰ ὦτα καὶ φυλάττεσθαι τὸν ψιθυρισμόν, ἵνα μὴ πῦρ ἐπὶ πῦρ γένηται, καὶ πρόχειρον ἔχειν τὸ τοῦ Φιλίππου. λέγεται γὰρ ἐκεῖνος ὑπὸ τῶν φίλων παροξυνόμενος ἐπὶ τοὺς Ἕλληνας ὡς εὖ πάσχοντας καὶ κακῶς αὐτὸν λέγοντας εἰπεῖν "τί οὖν, ἂν καὶ κακῶς ποιῶμεν αὐτούς;" ὅταν οὖν αἱ διαβάλλουσαι λέγωσιν ὅτι "λυπεῖ σε φιλοῦσαν ὁ ἀνὴρ καὶ σωφρονοῦσαν," "τί οὖν, ἂν καὶ μισεῖν αὐτὸν ἄρξωμαι καὶ ἀδικεῖν;" |
40. Hermione seems to speak the truth where she says: "The visits of bad women ruined me." But this case does not happen naturally, but only when dissension and jealousy has made wives open not only their doors but their ears to such women. But that is the very time when a sensible wife will shut her ears more than at any other time, and be especially on her guard against whisperers, that fire may not be added to fire, and remember the remark of Philip, who, when his friends tried to excite him against the Greeks, on the ground that they were treated well and yet reviled him, answered, "What will they do then, if I treat them ill?" Whenever, then, calumniating women come and say to a wife, "How badly your husband treats you, though a chaste and loving wife!" let her answer, "How would he act then, if I were to begin to hate him and injure him?" |
| 41. Ὁ τὸν δραπέτην ἰδὼν διὰ χρόνου καὶ διώκων, ὡς κατέφυγε φθάσας εἰς μυλῶνα, "ποῦ δ´ ἄν," ἔφη, "σὲ μᾶλλον εὑρεῖν ἐβουλήθην ἢ ἐνταῦθα;" γυνὴ τοίνυν διὰ ζηλοτυπίαν ἀπόλειψιν γράφουσα καὶ χαλεπῶς ἔχουσα λεγέτω πρὸς ἑαυτήν "ποῦ δ´ ἂν ἡ ζηλοῦσά με μᾶλλον ἡσθείη θεασαμένη καὶ τί ποιοῦσαν ἢ λυπουμένην καὶ στασιάζουσαν πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ τὸν οἶκον αὐτὸν καὶ τὸν θάλαμον προϊεμένην;" |
41. The master who saw his runaway slave a long time after he had run away, and chased him, and came up with him just as he had got to the mill, said to him, "In what more appropriate place could I have wished to find you?" So let the wife, who is jealous of her husband, and on the point of writing a bill of divorce in her anger, say to herself, "In what state would my rival be better pleased to see me in than this, vexed and at variance with my husband, and on the point of abandoning his house and bed ?" |
| 42. Ἀθηναῖοι τρεῖς ἀρότους ἱεροὺς ἄγουσι, πρῶτον ἐπὶ Σκίρῳ, τοῦ παλαιοτάτου τῶν σπόρων ὑπόμνημα, δεύτερον ἐν τῇ ᾿Ραρίᾳ, τρίτον ὑπὸ πόλιν τὸν καλούμενον Βουζύγιον. τούτων δὲ πάντων ἱερώτατός ἐστιν ὁ γαμήλιος σπόρος καὶ ἄροτος ἐπὶ παίδων τεκνώσει. καλῶς τὴν Ἀφροδίτην ὁ Σοφοκλῆς "εὔκαρπον Κυθέρειαν" προσηγόρευσε. διὸ δεῖ μάλιστα τούτῳ χρῆσθαι μετ´ εὐλαβείας τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα, τῶν ἀνιέρων καὶ παρανόμων πρὸς ἑτέρους ἁγνεύοντας ὁμιλιῶν, καὶ μὴ σπείροντας ἐξ ὧν οὐδὲν αὐτοῖς φύεσθαι θέλουσιν ἀλλὰ κἂν γένηται καρπὸς αἰσχύνονται καὶ ἀποκρύπτουσι. |
42. The Athenians have three sacred seedtimes: the first at Scirus, as a remembrance of the original sowing of corn, the second at Rharia, the third under Pelis, which is called Buzygium. But a more sacred seedtime than all these is the procreation of children, and therefore Sophocles did well to call Aphrodite "fruitful Cytherea." Wherefore it behoves both husband and wife to be most careful over this business, and to abstain from lawless and unholy breaches of the marriage vow, and from sowing in quarters where they desire no produce, or where, if any produce should come, they would be ashamed of it and desire to conceal it. |
| 43. Γοργίου τοῦ ῥήτορος ἀναγνόντος ἐν Ὀλυμπίᾳ λόγον περὶ ὁμονοίας τοῖς Ἕλλησιν ὁ Μελάνθιος, "οὗτος ἡμῖν," ἔφη, "συμβουλεύει περὶ ὁμονοίας, ὃς αὑτὸν καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ τὴν θεράπαιναν ἰδίᾳ τρεῖς ὄντας ὁμονοεῖν οὐ πέπεικεν." ἦν γὰρ ὡς ἔοικέ τις ἔρως τοῦ Γοργίου καὶ ζηλοτυπία τῆς γυναικὸς πρὸς τὸ θεραπαινίδιον. εὖ τοίνυν ἡρμοσμένον τὸν οἶκον εἶναι δεῖ τῷ μέλλοντι ἁρμόζεσθαι πόλιν καὶ ἀγορὰν καὶ φίλους· μᾶλλον γὰρ ἔοικε τὰ τῶν γυναικῶν ἢ τὰ πρὸς γυναῖκας ἁμαρτήματα λανθάνειν τοὺς πολλούς. |
43. When Gorgias the Rhetorician recited his speech at Olympia recommending harmony to the Greeks, Melanthius cried out, "He recommend harmony to us ! Why, he can't persuade his wife and maid to live in harmony, though there are only three of them in the house!" Gorgias belike had an intrigue with the maid, and his wife was jealous. He then must have his own house in good order who undertakes to order the affairs of his friends and the public, for any ill-doings on the part of husbands to their wives is far more likely to come out and be known to the public than the ill-doings of wives to their husbands. |
| 44. Εἰ καθάπερ τὸν αἴλουρον ὀσμῇ μύρων ἐκταράττεσθαι καὶ μαίνεσθαι λέγουσιν, οὕτω τὰς γυναῖκας ἀγριαίνειν καὶ παραφρονεῖν ὑπὸ μύρων συνέβαινε, δεινὸν ἦν μὴ ἀπέχεσθαι μύρου τοὺς ἄνδρας, ἀλλὰ δι´ ἡδονὴν αὑτῶν βραχεῖαν οὕτω κακουμένας περιορᾶν. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν ταῦτα πάσχουσιν οὐ μυριζομένων τῶν ἀνδρῶν ἀλλὰ συγγιγνομένων ἑτέραις, ἄδικόν ἐστιν ἡδονῆς ἕνεκα μικρᾶς ἐπὶ τοσοῦτο λυπεῖν καὶ συνταράττειν τὰς γυναῖκας καὶ μή, καθάπερ ταῖς μελίτταις (ὅτι δοκοῦσι δυσχεραίνειν καὶ μάχεσθαι τοῖς μετὰ γυναικῶν γενομένοις), ἁγνοὺς καὶ καθαρεύοντας ἑτέρων συνουσίας προσιέναι ταῖς γυναιξίν. |
44. They say the cat is driven mad by the smell of perfumes. If it happens that wives are equally affected by perfumes, it is monstrous that their husbands should not abstain from using perfumes, rather than for so small a pleasure to incommode so grievously their wives. And since they suffer quite as much when their husbands go with other women, it is unjust for a small pleasure to pain and grieve wives, and not to abstain from connection with other women, when even bee-keepers will do as much, because bees are supposed to dislike and sting those that have had dealings with women. |
| 45. Οἱ προσιόντες ἐλέφασιν ἐσθῆτα λαμπρὰν οὐ λαμβάνουσιν, οὐδὲ φοινικίδας οἱ ταύροις· διαγριαίνεται γὰρ ὑπὸ τῶν χρωμάτων τούτων μάλιστα τὰ ζῷα· τὰς δὲ τίγρεις φασὶ περιτυμπανιζομένας ἐκμαίνεσθαι παντάπασι καὶ διασπᾶν ἑαυτάς. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν καὶ τῶν ἀνδρῶν οἱ μὲν ἐσθῆτας κοκκίνας καὶ πορφυρᾶς ὁρῶντες δυσανασχετοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ κυμβάλοις καὶ τυμπάνοις ἄχθονται, τί δεινὸν ἀπέχεσθαι τούτων τὰς γυναῖκας καὶ μὴ ταράττειν μηδὲ παροξύνειν τοὺς ἄνδρας, ἀλλὰ συνεῖναι μετ´ εὐσταθείας καὶ πραότητος; |
45. Those that approach elephants do not dress in white, nor those that approach bulls in red, for these colours render those animals savage; and tigers they say at the beating of drums go quite wild, and tear themselves in their rage. Similarly, as some men cannot bear to see scarlet and purple dresses, and others are put out by cymbals and drums, what harm would it do wives to abstain from these things, and not to vex or provoke husbands, but to live with them quietly and meekly? |
| 46. Γυνή τις πρὸς τὸν Φίλιππον ἄκουσαν ἐφελκόμενον αὐτήν, "ἄφες μ´," εἶπε· "πᾶσα γυνὴ τοῦ λύχνου ἀρθέντος ἡ αὐτή ἐστι." τοῦτο πρὸς τοὺς μοιχικοὺς καὶ ἀκολάστους εἴρηται καλῶς, τὴν δὲ γαμετὴν δεῖ μάλιστα τοῦ φωτὸς ἀρθέντος εἶναι μὴ τὴν αὐτὴν ταῖς τυχούσαις γυναιξίν, ἀλλὰ φαίνεσθαι τοῦ σώματος μὴ βλεπομένου τὸ σῶφρον αὐτῆς καὶ ἴδιον τῷ ἀνδρὶ καὶ τεταγμένον καὶ φιλόστοργον. |
46. A woman said to Philip, who against her will was pulling her about, "Let me go, all women are alike when the lamp is put out." A good remark to adulterers and debauchees. But the married woman ought to show when the light is put out that she is not like all other women, for then, when her body is not visible, she ought to exhibit her chastity and modesty as well as her personal affection to her husband. |
| 47. Ὁ Πλάτων τοῖς πρεσβύταις μᾶλλον παρῄνει "αἰσχύνεσθαι τοὺς νέους," ἵνα κἀκεῖνοι πρὸς αὐτοὺς αἰδημόνως ἔχωσιν· "ὅπου" γὰρ "ἀναισχυντοῦσι γέροντες," οὐδεμίαν αἰδῶ τοῖς νέοις οὐδ´ εὐλάβειαν ἐγγίγνεσθαι. τούτου δεῖ μεμνημένον τὸν ἄνδρα μηδένα μᾶλλον αἰδεῖσθαι τῆς γυναικός, ὡς τὸν θάλαμον αὐτῇ διδασκαλεῖον εὐταξίας ἢ ἀκολασίας γενησόμενον. ὁ δὲ τῶν αὐτῶν ἡδονῶν αὐτὸς μὲν ἀπολαύων ἐκείνην δ´ ἀποτρέπων οὐδὲν διαφέρει τοῦ κελεύοντος διαμάχεσθαι τὴν γυναῖκα πρὸς τοὺς πολεμίους, οἷς αὐτὸς ἑαυτὸν παρέδωκε. |
47. Plato advised old men to conduct themselves with shame especially before young men, that they might in turn show shamefastness to them; for where the old behave shamelessly, no sense of shame will be exhibited by the young. 1 The husband ought to remember this, and feel a sense of shame before no one more than his wife, knowing that the bridal chamber will be to her either a school of virtue or of vice. And he who enjoys pleasures that he forbids his wife, is like a man who orders his wife to go on fighting against an enemy to whom he has himself surrendered. |
| 48. Περὶ δὲ φιλοκοσμίας σὺ μέν, ὦ Εὐρυδίκη, τὰ πρὸς Ἀρίστυλλαν ὑπὸ Τιμοξένας γεγραμμένα ἀναγνοῦσα πειρῶ διαμνημονεύειν· σὺ δέ, ὦ Πολλιανέ, μὴ νόμιζε περιεργίας ἀφέξεσθαι τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ πολυτελείας, ἂν ὁρᾷ σε μὴ καταφρονοῦντα τούτων ἐν ἑτέροις, ἀλλὰ καὶ χαίροντα χρυσώσεσιν ἐκπωμάτων καὶ γραφαῖς οἰκηματίων καὶ χλίδωσιν ἡμιόνων καὶ ἵππων περιδεραίοις. οὐ γὰρ ἔστιν ἐξελάσαι τῆς γυναικωνίτιδος ἐν μέσῃ τῇ ἀνδρωνίτιδι τὴν πολυτέλειαν ἀναστρεφομένην. Καὶ σὺ μὲν ὥραν ἔχων ἤδη φιλοσοφεῖν τοῖς μετ´ ἀποδείξεως καὶ κατασκευῆς λεγομένοις ἐπικόσμει τὸ ἦθος, ἐντυγχάνων καὶ πλησιάζων τοῖς ὠφελοῦσι· τῇ δὲ γυναικὶ πανταχόθεν τὸ χρήσιμον συνάγων ὥσπερ αἱ μέλιτται καὶ φέρων αὐτὸς ἐν σεαυτῷ μεταδίδου καὶ προσδιαλέγου, φίλους αὐτῇ ποιῶν καὶ συνήθεις τῶν λόγων τοὺς ἀρίστους. "πατὴρ" μὲν γάρ "ἐσσι" αὐτῇ "καὶ πότνια μήτηρ ἠδὲ κασίγνητος"· οὐχ ἧττον δὲ σεμνὸν ἀκοῦσαι γαμετῆς λεγούσης ἄνερ. ἀτὰρ σύ μοί ἐσσι καθηγητὴς καὶ φιλόσοφος καὶ διδάσκαλος τῶν καλλίστων καὶ θειοτάτων." τὰ δὲ τοιαῦτα μαθήματα πρῶτον ἀφίστησι τῶν ἀτόπων τὰς γυναῖκας· αἰσχυνθήσεται γὰρ ὀρχεῖσθαι γυνὴ γεωμετρεῖν μανθάνουσα, καὶ φαρμάκων ἐπῳδὰς οὐ προσδέξεται τοῖς Πλάτωνος ἐπᾳδομένη λόγοις καὶ τοῖς Ξενοφῶντος. ἂν δέ τις ἐπαγγέλληται καθαιρεῖν τὴν σελήνην, γελάσεται τὴν ἀμαθίαν καὶ τὴν ἀβελτερίαν τῶν ταῦτα πειθομένων γυναικῶν, ἀστρολογίας μὴ ἀνηκόως ἔχουσα καὶ περὶ Ἀγλαονίκης ἀκηκουῖα τῆς Ἡγήτορος τοῦ Θετταλοῦ θυγατρὸς ὅτι τῶν ἐκλειπτικῶν ἔμπειρος οὖσα πανσελήνων καὶ προειδυῖα τὸν χρόνον, ἐν ᾧ συμβαίνει τὴν σελήνην ὑπὸ γῆς σκιᾶς ἁλίσκεσθαι, παρεκρούετο καὶ συνέπειθε τὰς γυναῖκας ὡς αὐτὴ καθαιροῦσα τὴν σελήνην. |
48. As to love of show, Eurydice, read and try to remember what was written by Timoxena to Aristylla: and do you, Pollianus, not suppose that your wife will abstain from extravagance and expense, if she sees that you do not despise such vanities in others, but delight in gilt cups, and pictures in houses, and trappings for mules, and ornaments for horses. For it is not possible to banish extravagance from the women's side of the house if it is always to be seen in the men's apartments. Moreover, Pollianus, as you are already old enough for the study of philosophy, adorn your character by its teaching, whether it consists of demonstration or constructive reasoning, by associating and conversing with those that can profit you. And for your wife gather honey from every quarter, as the bees do, and whatever knowledge you have yourself acquired impart to her, and converse with her, making the best arguments well known and familiar to her. For now "Father thou art to her, and mother dear, and brother too." And no less decorous is it to hear the wife say, "Husband, you are my teacher and philosopher and guide in the most beautiful and divine subjects." For such teaching in the first place detaches women from absurdities: for the woman who has learnt geometry will be ashamed to dance, nor will she believe in incantations and spells, if she has been charmed by the discourses of Plato and Xenophon; and if anyone should undertake to draw the moon down from the sky, she will laugh at the ignorance and stupidity of women that credit such nonsense, well understanding geometry, and having heard how Aglaonice, the daughter of the Thessalian Hegetor, having a thorough knowledge of the eclipses of the moon, and being aware beforehand of the exact time when the moon would be in eclipse, cheated the women, and persuaded them that she herself had drawn it down from the sky. |
| Παιδίον μὲν γὰρ οὐδεμία ποτὲ γυνὴ λέγεται ποιῆσαι δίχα κοινωνίας ἀνδρός, τὰ δ´ ἄμορφα κυήματα καὶ σαρκοειδῆ καὶ σύστασιν ἐν ἑαυτοῖς ἐκ διαφθορᾶς λαμβάνοντα μύλας καλοῦσι. τοῦτο δὴ φυλακτέον ἐν ταῖς ψυχαῖς γίγνεσθαι τῶν γυναικῶν. ἂν γὰρ λόγων χρηστῶν σπέρματα μὴ δέχωνται μηδὲ κοινωνῶσι παιδείας τοῖς ἀνδράσιν, αὐταὶ καθ´ αὑτὰς ἄτοπα πολλὰ καὶ φαῦλα βουλεύματα καὶ πάθη κυοῦσι. |
For no woman was ever yet credited with having had a child without intercourse with a man, for those shapeless embryos and gobbets of flesh that take form from corruption are called moles. We must guard against such false conceptions as these arising in the minds of women, for if they are not well informed by good precepts, and share in the teaching that men get, they generate among themselves many foolish and absurd ideas and states of mind. |
| Σὺ δ´ ὦ Εὐρυδίκη μάλιστα πειρῶ τοῖς τῶν σοφῶν καὶ ἀγαθῶν ἀποφθέγμασιν ὁμιλεῖν καὶ διὰ στόματος ἀεὶ τὰς φωνὰς ἔχειν ἐκείνας ὧν καὶ παρθένος οὖσα παρ´ ἡμῖν ἀνελάμβανες, ὅπως εὐφραίνῃς μὲν τὸν ἄνδρα, θαυμάζῃ δ´ ὑπὸ τῶν ἄλλων γυναικῶν, οὕτω κοσμουμένη περιττῶς καὶ σεμνῶς ἀπὸ μηδενός. τοὺς μὲν γὰρ τῆσδε τῆς πλουσίας μαργαρίτας καὶ τὰ τῆσδε τῆς ξένης σηρικὰ λαβεῖν οὐκ ἔστιν οὐδὲ περιθέσθαι μὴ πολλοῦ πριαμένην, τὰ δὲ Θεανοῦς κόσμια καὶ Κλεοβουλίνης καὶ Γοργοῦς τῆς Λεωνίδου γυναικὸς καὶ Τιμοκλείας τῆς Θεαγένους ἀδελφῆς καὶ Κλαυδίας τῆς παλαιᾶς καὶ Κορνηλίας τῆς Σκιπίωνος καὶ ὅσαι ἐγένοντο θαυμασταὶ καὶ περιβόητοι, ταῦτα δ´ ἔξεστι περικειμένην προῖκα καὶ κοσμουμένην αὐτοῖς ἐνδόξως ἅμα βιοῦν καὶ μακαρίως. Εἰ γὰρ ἡ Σαπφὼ διὰ τὴν ἐν τοῖς μέλεσι καλλιγραφίαν ἐφρόνει τηλικοῦτον ὥστε γράψαι πρός τινα πλουσίαν, "κατθάνοισα δὲ κείσεαι, οὐδέ τις μναμοσύνα σέθεν ἔσεται· οὐ γὰρ πεδέχεις ῥόδων τῶν ἐκ Πιερίας," πῶς οὐχί σοι μᾶλλον ἐξέσται μέγα φρονεῖν ἐφ´ ἑαυτῇ καὶ λαμπρόν, ἂν μὴ τῶν ῥόδων ἀλλὰ καὶ τῶν καρπῶν μετέχῃς, ὧν αἱ Μοῦσαι φέρουσι καὶ χαρίζονται τοῖς παιδείαν καὶ φιλοσοφίαν θαυμάζουσιν. |
But do you, Eurydice, study to make yourself acquainted with the sayings of wise and good women, and ever have on your tongue those sentiments which as a girl you learnt with us, that so you may make your husband's heart glad, and be admired by all other women, being in yourself so wonderfully and splendidly adorned. For one cannot take or put on, except at great expense, the jewels of this or that rich woman, or the silk dresses of this or that foreign woman, but the virtues that adorned Theano, and Cleobuline, and Gorgo the wife of Leonidas, and Timoclea the sister of Theagenes, and the ancient Claudia, and Cornelia the sister of Scipio, and all other such noble and famous women, these one may array oneself in without money and without price, and so adorned lead a happy and famous life. For if Sappho plumed herself so much on the beauty of her lyrical poetry as to write to a certain rich woman, "You shall lie down in your tomb, nor shall there be any remembrance of you, for you have no part in the roses of Pieria," how shall you not have a greater right to plume yourself on having a part not in the roses but in the fruits which the Muses bring, and which they freely bestow on those that admire learning and philosophy ? |